bad science

I made quiche again this week, and, to my pleased surprise, I did not ruin the crust. This time: fork-tender, flaky, buttery. Last time: hard platter on which other food was served.

Quick recap tutorial, even though I know this is a million places online, indeed including our very own site:
Dice 1 c. butter kept cold, mix w/2.5 c. flour, add pinch of salt, pinch of sugar. Add ice-water a couple tbsp. at a time. When you can kind of pick the dough-ball up, divide it in half, wrap each piece in saran, and put in the freezer for at least an hour. Roll out.

There’s a problem with this, though, and it’s one that happens every time I put an end to a streak of kitchen fail: too many things changed since last time, so I have no idea what the Decisive Factor was. This time I
-used half a stick of unsalted and half a stick of salted butter, because I didn’t plan this well
-soaked the butter in ice water before dicing (I even rubbed ice on the knife first, because why not go all out, right?)
-used bread flour, instead of all-purpose
-added even less water than seemed prudent, so that the plastic wrap was holding the scrappy, ragged side of the dough together when I put it all in the freezer
-kept it in the freezer longer than normal
-used an actual rolling pin, as opposed to an empty bottle, and rolled it thinner than last time

As Science would say, any one of these changes or several of them together could be what made this crust turn out so, so much better than last time. To tinker with any of them risks ruining a future crust. On the other hand, I’m hardly a professional, and it is entirely likely that I’ll make another half-dozen small changes next time I make it anyway.

So, like a child trying to play Mastermind, I keep switching the variables that go into my pie crust with little regard for past outcomes. Systematizing baking as a multiple-iteration experiment, though, is harder than the beloved five-peg Deluxe Edition — I don’t know what all the variables even are, nor can I do more than guess which change caused the resulting crust to stay tender (or maybe it was the manchego cheese I layered into the shell before the spinach and eggs?).

With all this uncertainty, all we can do is celebrate our successes, and just keep at it, I guess. And remember, if women don’t find you handsome, at least they’ll find you handy.

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